Sunday, April 15, 2007
Infatuated at you
There are some things that i wish i could just tell it straight forward. But it is somewhat impossible as u have ur friends surrounding u. Only time u'r alone, i am not there to say. This is like a nightmare where the finished is yet to be dreamt. However that' s not the only thing. I don;t understand as to why there are so many other people into you. I just wished it was anly you and me, so that we could live happy ever after but i don't believe in that. Only fairy tales have that sort of ending but not reality. Reality is much more cruel then dragons and ogres. There are such things as heartbreaks and suicide in reality. However suicide just doesn't suit me as i won't look good when dead. I prefer to be alive as i am now not like some emo shit.
When in school, i have noticed that you would look at me at times, me siting outside the canteen and you inside of the sc room, by the window or at the door. How is it that you are able to cope with all the SC thingy as when i look at you, your innocence and peace appearance just soothes me and yet angers me? Why am i angered when i look at you? Maybe it's just that i feel frustrated at myself for not letting you know how i feel for you. Maybe its because i'm too scared to talk to you or maybe even look at you. I just wished that you will just come to me and say something that i can accept. Maybe not as that won't be very gentleman of me. I should be going to you and say that three words that i hope you could accept that word from my own self and accept me for the way i am.
These wishful thinking, i wish for them to come true. For it is my wishful thinking and i should be wishing for it to come true. Fot if it were a wishful thinking but i don't wish for it to come true, i would just be contradicting it. Well, i guess here are my last words for today: Always believe in yourself.
Posted by The Fool at 2:45 AM